So, the government engineers a short squeeze in the financials right as Merrill Lynch's CEO John Thain claims emphatically that Merrill Lynch wouldn't require any additional capital or write-downs. "Our capital position is extremely sound and stable." Lucky too as Jim Cramer was about to blow a gasket saying the market was collapsing, oh no wait, that was the huge market bottom he called - go Cramer! Isn't that like the 7th bottom he's called after the fact?! And now he rants how if the Fed had listened to him we could have avoided this whole crisis. What an arrogant and lying $%$% of #(&$*, amazing how a person's ego always seems to catch up with them -- he's become the quintessential contrary indicator for the market. Of course, that's peanuts next to what Alan Greenspan has done to this country during his tenure. Now he says Fannie and Freddie are a major accident waiting to happen. Too bad he didn't think that when he had a chance to stop it, instead of fueling the fire by promoting the crap out of the subprime revolution, empowering deliquent borrowers everywhere with easy money to own their own home, or two, or three!

Anyway, back on topic, only days later, everything seems to have changed for Merrill, as Thain suddenly announced that they just raised another $10 BILLION in capital! Hey everyone, check out what we found - $1 million bucks in energy price manipulation - focus on that while we let the investment banks rape the ignorant investing public for another $10 BILLION of capital dilution right before your eyes without anyone saying a word. It's so brazen and in your face, it's awesome! Thain outright says they don't need any more capital days before they smack current shareholders with a whopping 60% capital dilution! Even John Thain and his top henchmen got in on the fun, picking up a boatload of stock at the $22.50 "top secret" offering price. If he were to sell it all right now he would already pocket a cool $2 million profit, not bad for a rich bitch! But don't worry, Thain said in a recent CNBC interview "They are very well capitalized with the new capital they just got." I'll bet! I feel better, don't you? I mean, he said it with such confidence and conviction, just like the last 10 times. I believe him this time, all over again, don't you? Merrill also sold a load of potentially defunct mortgages at 22 cents on the dollar for no additional collateral, and 75% financed by no other than... Merrill Lynch??!! So, basically Merrill keeps 75% of the risk and none of the potential reward. And if these obligations fall another 5% in value, the equity in Lone Star (who bought all these obligations) would be wiped out leaving Merrill back on the hook all over again. Wow - so that's what an off-balance-sheet entity looks like! (oops, did I say that out loud)?! Hey, here's an idea... Let home owners buy back their mortgage obligations for 30 cents on the dollar for an immediate 36% profit and now everyone's happy! Don't expect that'll ever happen, heh!

Now remember slaves, just because us rich connected bitches can all get away with such atrocities doesn't mean that you can too! It's very important that YOU all make sure your FICO scores stay intact and you pay off all your loans. Isn't it awesome how if you have trouble paying your debts your interest rates go through the roof! If the government really wanted to protect the people, they would pass laws banning companies from hiking your interest rate if you have trouble paying your outstanding debt balances. Talk about kicking you while you're down! Only newly issued loans should reflect changes in your credit rating. Imagine Merrill Lynch being told that instead of writing off their debt, they'll have to double the interest rate on all their outstanding debt cuz they're a bunch of liars, their bonds are junk, and they're bankrupt anyway so let's really milk 'em before they blow up. Oh wait, that's what all these corporate cronies do anyway! Did you know that last year the FASB - the organization that establishes financial accounting rules and standards - made rule changes lobbied for by the banks that actually allow them to write off the loss of market value of their corporate debt as profits, even if they didn't buy it back! And now, the FASB voted to delay accounting changes that would affect TRILLIONS of dollars in OFF-BALANCE sheet items and assets held at banks and financial companies like Citigroup, Lehman, Merrill, and others! This reverses an earlier decision to make some parts of its rule effective later this year, delaying it until late 2009. So, banks like Citigroup have a TRILLION DOLLARS of assets NOT DISCLOSED TO THE PUBLIC?!!! So much for Sarbanes-Oxley, this makes Enron look like a shiny penny at the bottom of a bucket filled with warm steamy fingerlicious manure! These rules would have forced these companies to come clean, and probably put many of them out of business at the same time - but we couldn't have THAT before the elections, could we... The FASB claims they were under political pressure to "delay the ruling"! Awesome how easy it is to get what you want with some good 'ole palm-greasing festivities and future employment promises for key political figures... Brilliant! What idiot school teachers of mine taught me that honesty pays. I think they left out that it pays alright... for the other guy! No wonder cheaters abound, just one more part of our trickle-down cheatocracy. Just don't get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, well, unless you too "know someone". We the people... heh!

If you don't like it, tough, go back to school and get another degree! There's another huge racket designed to keep you in eternal servitude. We've even made sure you can't ever write off your student loans even if you declare bankruptcy. You're stuck, even with those charging you "nominal" 20%+ annual rates, you know, because your credit sucks. "I am not a FICO number, I am a free man!" HAHA With all the money these universities raise, it makes you wonder why they need to charge you $35 grand a year to learn how to philosophize about idealistic liberal socialism. Obama for Change, yeah I'll say - my diaper needs changing, and my lil friend too! - oh my. Oh no, it's Obama for Changing your tires to save a pint of gas! Or how about Obama for... taxing the crap out of everyone that seems to be making any real money whatsoever, just like Hugo Chavez - now people in Venezuala can't even find food on the shelves anymore. Don't worry Barack alack Obama, we'll just keep pretending to work, and you can pretend to pay all the workers we lay off with cheap devalued dollars. It's awesome how you're all so gullible that you just line up to support this crap. Forget about promoting free markets and a fair and balanced playing field, backed up by sound monetary policies. That would be a real change, and we certainly can't profit well enough from any of that! Better let the government graft it away in wasteful kleptocratic spending than leave it in the hands off those who find ways to actually earn it and create more jobs with it. This year's federal budget deficit is expected to be only $389 billion, although strangely our national debt jumped by $641 billion! Hmm, that's odd. Why the difference you ask? Apparently, Washington has the right to "borrow" excess Social Security funds, which they gladly did to the tune of $181 billion to make the deficit appear more manageable. You didn't really think that any excess money scraped together by the Social Security system was meant to be yours someday, did you?! Oh well, what's a few billion split amongst us friends. So pound that 40, stay docile and keep begging for a tire change, just as we like it. Way to go Baracko, pass me the pork bitch!

(excerpt from July 9th, 2008 OIL SMASH episode)

As a final note, oil stocks have been making lower highs with oil at record prices, and even crappy otcbb oil stocks have been making explosive moves lately, which is a good sign that the current move is likely near an end. I also sold off some oil stock holdings in the past weeks - it still always amazes me how fast stocks can turn. While there's still a slight chance oil may bump around and make some new highs around the $150/barrel level, I think it's done for now, but watch out once we come out of the recession...